Homely men who misbehave can't win for losing: Attractiveness influences online daters, jurors

Women tolerate an unattractive man up to a point, but beware if he misbehaves. Then they'll easily shun him, researchers report, after finding that a woman's view of a man is influenced by how handsome and law-abiding he is. Their study, they say, has significance for those using dating sites or doing jury duty.

Women tolerate an unattractive man up to a point, but beware if he misbehaves. Then they'll easily shun him. So say Jeremy Gibson and Jonathan Gore of the Eastern Kentucky University in the US, after finding that a woman's view of a man is influenced by how handsome and law-abiding he is. Their study in Springer's journal Gender Issues has significance for those using dating sites or doing jury duty.

Discovering how someone can make a positive first impression is an important field of study because of its role in forming relationships. It is often based on physical appearance and whether someone sticks to social norms or not. Such impressions are made in a flash, but are not always correct. In what is called the "halo effect," people warm up to others with positive characteristics, such as handsomeness. The "devil effect" or "negative halo effect" comes into play when people assume that others possess so-called "bad" characteristics, based on traits such as unattractiveness..

Gibson and Gore tested if and how levels of attractiveness and conforming to social norms combine to influence 170 college women's perceptions of men. Two male faces -- one attractive, the other not -- bearing similar features were paired in two written scenarios. In the one, the man committed a major social no-no, in the other not.

The researchers found that whether a man transgressed a social norm was a much greater put-off than whether he was unattractive. Normally women do not feel differently towards a homely man who toes the line. If that same ugly duckling, however, transgresses the boundaries of right or wrong, a magnified or "double" devil effect comes into play. He is then viewed in an extremely negative light, much more so than would have been the case if he were handsome.

"The unattractive male is tolerated up to a point; his unattractiveness is OK until he misbehaves," says Gibson.

The halo and devil effect often comes into play when people view others' profiles on online dating sites. Based on their results, Gibson and Gore believe that unattractive men who provide unusual or alarming information in their profiles may not receive a second glance from women. This will not be the case for an Adonis posting the same information, or unattractive ones who do not violate these norms. In the judicial system, unattractive defendants are also known to receive more severe penalties than more attractive ones, even if they committed the same crime.

"A man who stands trial has already shown himself to have violated social norms in one way or another. If he is also unattractive, the magnified devil effect may result in a larger fine or sentence, as it could influence how negatively jurors view him and, as a result, the degree to which they believe him guilty of the crime," explains Gore.

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Story Source:

The above story is based on materials provided by Springer Science+Business Media. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

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Journal Reference:

1. Jeremy L. Gibson, Jonathan S. Gore. You’re OK Until You Misbehave: How Norm Violations Magnify the Attractiveness Devil Effect.Gender Issues, 2015; DOI: 10.1007/s12147-015-9142-5

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How to Attract Any Woman

Sex eyes? Check.

Don’t want to leave the bar empty handed this weekend? Practice your smoldering look before heading out with the guys.
Gazing at a woman with your eyelids lowered makes you look like a more appealing candidate for a short-term fling, says a study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences. 

Researchers had over 230 subjects look at a series of images—a guy with closed eyelids, a guy with lowered eyelids, and a guy with raised eyelids. The results: Men who had raised eyelids were considered more trusting and better suited for long-term relationships. Lowered lids were associated with short-term sexual relationships and risky behaviors, says Daniel Kruger, Ph.D., study author and evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan.

But having a staring contest with some hot chick across the room may not be the best way to reel her in. Instead, check out these three things than can make you instantly more approachable.

Enlist a Furry Wingman
Your secret weapon next time you hit the great outdoors: Your dog. Not only do you appear more approachable with Fido by your side, you appear more likeable. In a study from Anthrozoos, subjects even said that people with dogs appeared more approachable, relaxed looking, and happier when compared to people standing with flowers. (Click here for more ways to Win the Hottest Woman in the Room.)

Stop Speed-Walking
“Women look first at your attire and second at how you walk,” says R. Don Steele, author of Body Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship & Dating. So make sure to slow your roll. “Confident people are not in a hurry,” says Steele. “But there’s a difference between meandering and walking slowly with purpose. Always walk as if you know what you’re doing and where you’re going.”

Once you’re positioned within her gaze, here is where a slightly closed-eyed, sexy look is appropriate. Once you’ve locked eyes, without using words, put the offer on the table. Shoot her a smile, raise your drink slightly as if to “say hello” from across the room, and (if she’s into you) she should be strolling your way in no time.


Tell a Sarcastic Joke
Individuals who appear to have a good sense of humor come off as more approachable and relaxed, says a study conducted by researchers from Qatar University. And since women love men with a good sense of humor—draw her toward you by making everyone else around you laugh.
As for what to say when she’s within ears reach, keep it witty. Women are most attracted to men who use dry, sarcastic humor, and least attracted to guys with a dark or vulgar sense of humor, according to a survey from eHarmony.

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Win the Hottest Woman in the Room

Make your move, dude!

In the world of cowbirds—small, parasitic birds that lay their eggs in other birds’ nests—shy guys come out on top. Their less-intense displays of show garner more attention than elaborate wing-spreading, according to a new study published in PLos ONE.

Lady birds aren’t the only ones who’ll go for a quiet guy—it works in the dating jungle, too. “Attractive women get hit on all the time,” says Tracey Steinberg, dating and flirting expert. “They’re sick of the player who is going to hit on them and every other woman in the bar.”
Instead of thinking you’re doomed because the sight of high heels makes you shake in your boots, capitalize on your shy-guy status to get the hottest girl in the room.

Use Non-Verbal Cues
Who says you can’t meet at a bar? “Being in a noisy environment might be surprisingly better for a shy guy,” says Richard La Ruina, dating coach and author of The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want. How come? You don’t even have to talk. Catch her eye, smile, and raise your drink slightly as if to “say hello” from across the room. (No screaming, “Cheers!” allowed.) Distance can give you more confidence, La Ruina adds.

Buddy Up
Throw a party with two of your outgoing friends, says Steinberg. Since you’re the host, you’ll have to introduce yourself to everyone—the most nerve-wracking part. To make sure your ratio is even, tell your buddies to bring along a girl—they don’t want to go to a party that’s a sausagefest either, right?

Ditch the Clever Pick-Up Line
“The less clever the opening line the better,” says Steinberg. Why? She’s likely heard it all—and she’ll notice eye contact and a smile more. Open with a question about anything you can see, hear, taste, touch, or smell in the environment, says Steinberg. It’ll provide instant conversation. Tip: Use her name when giving a compliment, or to get her attention if the conversation dies down, says Steinberg. It’ll let her know you’re focused on just her.

Let Her Talk
You’re probably a good listener—most shy guys are, says La Ruina. So keep the conversation focused on her interests. Ask follow-up questions: If she’s a runner, find out how she got started, or if she runs races. The advantage: When you ask to see her again, she’ll know you’re interested in more than her bod.

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4 Sex Positions Every Man Should Try

Give her an O every time.

As the classic comedy Clerks famously quipped, it’s simple for men to reach orgasm. (“Insert somewhere close and preferably moist; thrust; repeat.”)
But for her to reach the big O? Count the ways. According to the latest research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, vaginal and clitoral orgasms are, in fact, separate sensations.
Don’t obsess over the source of her pleasure, though—just try something new. Interest in testing out new positions actually makes a big difference in her pleasure and her arousal, explains Jen Landa, M.D., Chief Medical Officer of BodyLogicMD and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women.
Whether your goal is to give her a blended orgasm or target her G-spot, focus on vaginal pleasure or hone in on her clitoris, we’ve rounded up four positions that will help you perform like a pro in between the sheets.

For ultimate access to her clitoris, try

The Pretzel

How it works: Kneel and straddle her left leg while she’s lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of your waist—allowing full access to her vagina. This position is an upgrade from standard missionary because this sets you up for deeper penetration and allows you to slow your roll.  “Most women find sex much more pleasurable when it’s not just constant thrusting,” says Landa. So spend some time exploring her body.  This setup gives you complete access to her clitoris for manual stimulation. But don’t feel limited to solely hands on fun. Try withdrawing your penis and, while holding the shaft with your left hand, rub the head against her clitoris. Start out soft and slow, then as you increase speed and pressure, reinsert once you’ve brought her to the brink of an orgasm.

For targeting her G-Spot, try: The Standing Dragon a.k.a. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Serpent
How it works: Position her on the edge of the bed, posing on all fours. As you stand behind her, have her arch her back so it lifts her butt upward. With your legs outside of hers, use your thighs to squeeze her knees together, which tightens her vagina around your penis. This position is ideal for G-spot stimulation and also gives you a great view of her curves.

For intensifying vaginal pleasure, you should try: The Flatiron a.k.a. Downward Dog
How it works: Have her lie face down on the bed with her knees slightly bent and hips slightly raised. For comfort, and to increase the angle of her hips, you can suggest placing a pillow under her lower abs. From here, enter her from behind and keep your weight off of her by propping yourself up with your arms. This position creates a snug fit—which intensifies her pleasure by making you feel larger to her. (A killer tip for you: You’ll last longer in this position if you switch to shallower thrusts and deeper breaths.)

The Pole Position

For optimal dual pleasure, you should try:
How it works: Lie on your back and bend one of your legs, keeping the other outstretched. Have her straddle the raised leg with a thigh on either side and then lower herself onto your member so that her back is facing you. From here, she should hold your knee and use it for support as she rocks up and down. “This position is great, because it’s a lot like the reverse cowgirl, but with a twist,” says Landa. Raising your knee allows her to rub against your thigh—which produces optimal clitoral stimulation, says Landa.

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The Color That Makes Her Crave Sex!

Ante up. A new study from the University of Amsterdam finds poker players who bet with red-colored chips feel more self-assured. That’s not all: Their competitors feel intimidated by red chips, and so are more likely to fold, the study explains.

The poker chip finding is just the latest study in a flood of recent research linking half the colors of the rainbow to different psychological, emotional, and even sexual responses.

It’s a vibrant world out there, so we thought you’d appreciate a handy guide to help you identify the monochromatic triggers that studies say may be coloring your perceptions.

Whether you’re wondering what color shirt you should wear to attract women, or you’re trying to choose an paint color for your office that will help enhance your creativity, our color guide has you covered.

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Texting & Dating

So many things in our world are changing due to technological advancements. Paper mail has now become a novelty – a hobby for some. Even books are digital now! As far as advancements that have changed the way people communicate, cell phones certainly stand out. In fact, cell phones have even changed the way people date. Now, when you meet someone, you probably text them before having a phone conversation. It isn’t uncommon to date someone for weeks on end without ever talking on the phone.


It’s true that texting is advantageous because it allows you to send a message that can be read (and answered) at any time, and allows people to be reached when they are on the go. However, for all the ways that texting makes communication easier, I feel that in regard to dating and relationships, texting (although trendy), isn’t the best thing to do. I fear that a good phone conversation with your significant other will eventually be a thing of the past. In fact, getting to know someone through phone conversations seems to be dead already.

Instead of text messaging being a casual method of communication, a whole texting culture has evolved to the point where it’s “rude” to let a text go unanswered for more than five minutes! People also attach emotional meaning to texting behavior, sometimes to the point where “who” does or doesn’t initiate the text conversation is often a point of contention. People also try to be humorous and sarcastic through texts – bad idea – humor and sarcasm aren’t necessarily understood this way. It seems that most people have forgotten the art of a good conversation filled with actual human voices. Now I know that the thought of a phone conversation with the person you are interested in can be quite stressful, so here are a few tips to get you through:

• Always be confident. If you’re confident in your tone, you’ll gain a lot of respect.
• Be humorous! There’s worse than droning on and on to kill a conversation…
• Don’t be afraid to talk about anything and everything. Just talking about the random things that come to mind can be a great way to have fun and engaging conversations.
• Don’t forget to let the other person talk. Get to know them. If they have trouble opening up and you can’t engage them in conversation, try some quirky questions like “Coke or Pepsi?”, “Do you like the previews, or skip to the movie?”, “Ocean view or mountain view?”, “What superpower would you want? Why?”
• Finally, something that has saved me more times than I can remember: keep it short and sweet! When a natural “out” presents itself in the conversation, don’t feel rude if you take it. If the conversation seems to be winding down and you want to avoid some awkward silence, maybe say you have to go to do homework or that you’ll call them later, and then gauge their response. If things went well, calling them again wont feel awkward; it’ll be like picking up the conversation where it left off. Casual and relaxed.

If you can master the art of a good phone conversation, you may find that you can get to know someone much on a much deeper level than you would if you were just texting. Some may even say you learn more about a person talking to them on the phone than in person, because you only focus on their tone of voice and what they say rather than the way they look.

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5 Tips for Talking to a Guy on the Phone

Talking on the phone with a guy you like is a big step.

Talking on the phone is a necessary step in the adolescent courtship ritual. Sure, there's talking at school, or commenting on Facebook, but bridging the gap between those activities and an actual date usually involves the telephone. Yes, the prospect of actually picking up the phone and dialing his number is daunting.
But before you start wailing in despair, take a deep breath. There are things you can do to make this experience much easier for the both of you. So get your pencils out, ladies. It's time to take notes.

Think about what you'll say before you dial that number.

5: Plan Ahead

Calling a guy is hard. What if he doesn't pick up? What if he does pick up? These are just some of the possibilities that keep us from hitting that last digit of his phone number. But then you finally do work up the gumption to make the call, and his voice comes on the line -- and you have no idea what to say next.
Don't let awkward silences be the death of your conversation. Before you even pick up the phone, think of one or two things to bring up during the conversation. It doesn't have to be big, although if you're feeling brave and want to ask him to the prom, go for it. Ask him about things you're both involved in, like Spanish class or math club. If you're worried you'll draw a complete blank when you actually get him on the phone, jot down a couple of reminders. But whatever you do, don't write out a word-for-word script. Just let it come naturally.

Take some time to get to know him.

4: Find Out What He's Interested In

If this guy isn't someone you know terribly well, you might have to do a little detective work. The obvious place to start is to see what kinds of school activities he's involved with. Sports, drama club, the school paper, whatever it is -- they're all little clues to the kinds of stuff he's interested in.
If the two of you share some of the same friends, that's another potential resource. Ask them what kinds of things he's into outside of school. You never know -- you might both have a burning passion for mountain biking or speaking German. And even if the two of you are into completely different things, you'll know a little bit more about what makes him tick. Just don't go overboard with your reconnaissance; there's no need to interrogate everyone he knows. Talk to people who know both of you well and won't broadcast your interest to the entire school.
Your investigative work will come in handy on the phone for a couple of reasons. First, you'll put him at ease by getting him to talk about stuff he loves. Second, your interest in his activities is a good way to let him know that you want to get to know him better.

Draw him out, and the conversation will pick up.

3: Draw Him Out

Some guys (like some girls) are just not chatty. It might be that they're kind of shy. So, don't take it personally if you're having a hard time getting him to say more than "yeah" or "uh-huh" on the phone. It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't want to talk to you.
There are a couple of things you can do to try and get him talking. One is the previous tip -- finding out what he's into, and asking about it. Another good idea is to ask him open-ended questions. If you keep asking him things that only require a yes-or-no answer, a yes or a no is all you're likely to get. Instead, put your English class skills to good use and ask questions that require more thorough answers. For example, instead of asking, "Do you like the new Bruno Mars album?" try saying "What do you think of the new Bruno Mars album?" That will help get him talking, and hopefully he'll feel a bit more comfortable.

Don't worry, both guys and girls get nervous when talking to someone they like.

2: Remember That He's Nervous, Too

Do you have sweaty palms? Is your heart racing? Is your hair a complete disaster owing to your habit of twisting it when you get nervous? It's fine. Really and truly, we've all been there. Nerves are just a part of the experience. The key is not to let them get the best of you. So what if your voice gets a little squeaky when he answers the phone? It's not the end of the world. And something that can make you feel about a million times better is remembering that he's probably nervous, too.  After all, it's not every day somebody as awesome as you dials his number. So, if his voice breaks, or he trips over his words or perhaps drops the phone, you'll forgive him. After all, you know how he feels.

Be yourself, not someone else!

1: Be Yourself

It's always tempting to try and change who we are to get somebody to like us better. But even little things, like saying you're really into a band you've actually never heard of, can get you into trouble. For one thing, those kinds of little white lies will probably come back to bite you sooner rather than later. But more importantly, you want him to like you for being you. Be proud of who you are and what you're about. He's way more likely to think you're cool because you raise goats for 4-H than for faking an understanding of the UEFA Champions League rankings. Being comfortable in your own skin is much more attractive than trying to be somebody you're not.
Now, was that so hard? All right, it was probably kind of hard. But you did it! You talked to a guy on the phone, and you didn't dissolve into a quivering pile of nerves. That's something to be proud of. So, take a deep breath, pat yourself on the back, and relax. Because, my friend, you rock.

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5 Tips for Looking Your Best on a Date

Find the right line between looking sharp and maintaining your personal style.

When it comes to dating, as you've probably learned, the fifth-grade routine of washing behind the ears and changing underwear more-or-less daily doesn't cut it. The fresh-from-the-laundry-hamper look may be fine for an afternoon of shooting hoops with the guys. But show up on your date's doorstep looking like that, and the biggest bouquet of roses won't hide the pizza stains and whiff of garlic.
At the same time, most women don't expect a guy to look like he stepped out of the pages of an Aéropostale ad. They do expect his appearance to communicate confidence and respect -- for himself and for them.
The tips and techniques described in these pages will get you started. No waxing your nose hairs or locking yourself in the bathroom to apply an avocado face mask. Just pointers that'll serve you well throughout your dating life and beyond. Like a no-look pass on the basketball court, achieving that crisp, sharp look is a simple matter of doing the little things well.
First, some advice on taking care of your skin.

Paying attention to hygiene is the first step to looking sharp for your date.

5: Clean Up

Any craftsman will tell you: Choose the right tools for the job. Applied to showering, that means skin cleansers.
All cleansers do the same thing -- dissolve dirt and oil so you can wash them away. For best results, choose one that matches your skin type. If you have oily skin, try a cleanser that's also an exfoliant. An exfoliant is a product that removes dead skin, the perfect material for dirt and odor-causing bacteria. Mild exfoliants contain gentle scrubbers like citrus acid, and they're considered safe for regular use. Once or twice a week, wash your face with a specifically designed exfoliating product. If dry skin is a problem, consider using a liquid body wash instead of a bar.
Remember that hot water and vigorous toweling can irritate any skin. Use warm water and pat dry, rather than rub. You're removing water, not car wax.
Check your nails. With a nail brush, scrub out any crud the shower missed. Trim or file any rough edges with nail nippers -- straight across the top, slightly rounded at the corners. Occasionally, you might need something more abrasive, like a pumice-laced cleanser.
Next: Clothing may not make the man, but it sure helps.

Your clothes should fit the date -- a walk along the trail, for instance, calls for something slightly casual.

4: Dress for Success

Wearing the right clothes increases your comfort and confidence, as well as your date's. Your clothes should suit the occasion, whether it's a formal dinner or a family cookout. Overdress, and you'll look like a snob. Underdress, and you'll look like a bum. Either way, you'll feel clueless.
Not sure what's appropriate? Ask. If it's a family function, ask your date. If a friend recommends a restaurant, ask about a dress code.
So, what should you wear? First, clothes that fit -- pants that end above the ankle do nothing for you. Also, wear something that flatters your skin tone. Clothes should contrast without clashing. Medium blue looks good with fair skin, for instance. Khaki complements darker tones.
The same goes for body type. If you're on the hefty side, break up the bulk with different colored pants and shirt. Don't overlook the shoes, either. A ratty pair of high-tops can undo an otherwise seamless effect.
Finally, make sure your clothes are presentable. They should look and smell clean, with no missing buttons or broken seams. The miracle of wash-and-wear makes ironing minimal; but learn to press collars, cuffs and creases for a sharper look.
Ready to handle some hairy situations? Read on.

Beard Trim

Maybe you're cultivating some facial topiary -- that is, a beard. Comb it out to detect and trim any scraggly ends. To achieve bearded balance, spring for a beard trimmer. You'll save time in the long run and look better.

3: Take Time for Hair Care

Unless you go with the Marine boot-camp buzz, you have to do something with that hair. Like skin, date-worthy hair starts with a good washing. Here, again, shampoo should match your hair type: normal, dry or oily. Let your hair dry a bit before applying any styling gel or cream, and then use as little as needed.
If you can't achieve the look you want through everyday care, try getting a first-rate haircut from an experienced stylist, someone who understands how to give you a cut that complements your face. Then take a picture. Keep this for future reference when you visit your regular barber.
Don't neglect the hair on the rest of your head. A clean shave starts with a clean face (that exfoliant discussed earlier helps here), followed by a light lathering of foam or gel (or oil, for electric shaving). As you may have learned, shaving with the grain of the hair growth is more efficient. It also reduces the chance of ingrown hair. Go against the grain only in those hard-to-reach spots around the neck and chin. Finish with a splash of cold water or aftershave lotion (go easy on the stuff).
Our next discussion has some bite to it.

2: Brush Up on Dental Care

You've been brushing your teeth almost as long as you've had teeth to brush. But it's worthwhile to assess your approach. After all, brushing is a cheap, proven way to prevent discolored teeth and bad breath, not to mention painful gum disease, infections, tooth decay -- all major dating challenges.
For example, are you using the right brush? For comfort and effectiveness, a brush should fit into your mouth without straining. Choose soft bristles to avoid damaging your gums.
How about your technique? Brushing should involve more wrist action than muscle. Short, gentle, up-and-down strokes are preferable for the front and rear surfaces of your teeth. Brush across the chewing surface. The whole process should take about two minutes. Don't forget the tongue. Bad-breath bacteria can build up there, too.
Flossing is essential for getting to those tight spots between teeth and near the gumline where the brush can't reach. For pain- and frustration-free flossing, ease the floss between the teeth in a rocking motion. Curve it around each tooth to make contact with as much surface as you can and gently "saw" upward.

You've probably heard it before, but there's a good reason for it -- be yourself, and she'll take note.

1: Don't Fight Mother Nature

Apply the advice given here, and any other words of wisdom, as it agrees with your inner and outer being. Take hairstyles, for instance. If you really like the way you look with a certain hairstyle, go for it -- but keep it clean and trim. You'll take care of and take pride in a look that you're happy with. And your date will notice. In contrast, spending time and money and struggling with a style you don't like will only stress you out. And dating can be stressful enough.
By the same token, following a trend is fine if it makes you look and feel on top of your game. Maybe those cardigans that look so good on David Beckham look great on you, too. Buy one or two (in colors that suit your skin tones, of course). But jumping onto every fad bandwagon will leave you with a closet full of outdated clothes and an empty wallet.
Likewise, follow advice as it fits your personality and values. If you've vowed that nothing that comes from a laboratory will touch your skin, then lather up with lavender-coconut milk soap. Don't let anyone tell you it's not manly.
That's the picture of confidence. And that's the best look of all.

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5 First Date Ideas

Picking the right first date can mean the difference between success and failure.

More than 96 million Americans over the age of 18 are single, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. And many of them are actively looking to find that special someone. In fact, as you read this article, there are scores of people chatting on the phone or through instant messaging agonizing with their friends over crucial first-date decisions like "What do I wear? What do we talk about? Do I bring up my reality TV show obsession?"
Well, we might not have the answers to all of your burning first-date prep questions, but we did take a stab at the one question that has to be answered: What do we do? Don't worry. We can handle that one. Just read on for five first date ideas that are ideal for anyone, whether you're new to the dating scene or an old pro.

5: Short and Sweet (literally)

William Shakespeare once wrote that "brevity is the soul of wit." And we think this quote from "Hamlet," applies to first dates, too. A first date doesn't have to be an all-day affair. Instead, just meet up for a quick get together to see if things click. These short dates are good for people getting back into the dating scene, divorcees or anyone who's uncomfortable with the dating process in general. And they also provide safe venues for a first date with a person you've met online.
Find something to do that has a time limit or that doesn't require spending a lot of time together, so if it's not going well you can politely say sayonara early. Of course, short and sweet really works well for blind dates, especially if one of the participants is hesitant about blind dates in the first place.
So what can you do that's quick but fun? Plenty:

• Grab a cup of coffee or cappuccino at the local coffee house.
• Visit a museum exhibition.
• Meet at the local cupcake shop (take your pick -- old-fashioned red velvet cupcake with cream cheese icing or dark chocolate cupcake with espresso butter cream).
• Play one round of miniature golf.
• Take a walking tour downtown to check out the local boutiques, bookstores, gelato shops, etc.
• Drop by an outdoor arts festival or crafts fair.
• Enroll in a one-hour class together at a community center.

A wine tasting or brewery tour can be both entertaining and educational.

Jupiterimages/Thinkstock

4: Wine Tasting or Brewery Tour

So you want to impress your date with your sense of culture and class? Then take him or her to the local vineyard or brewery tour for a tasting, or the annual beer festival, if it's in town. Both are ideal for group or couple dates, and for people who, well, enjoy wine or beer. The tours typically include historical and instructional aspects on wine or beer, so you can learn a little something while you sample the goods. And if your timing is lucky and there's a beer festival in town, they usually feature local bands and other art vendors, as well, so these festivals make great first dates with local flavor. When else would you get a chance to taste so many different beers at one time and have it actually be acceptable?
How do you find a tasting or tour? Start by checking your local newspaper, or logging on to the Beer Festivals Calendar Web site or Localwineevents.com. Of course, planning ahead is crucial for a date like this; you'll want to make sure your date doesn't have any issues with alcohol. And be a responsible. Know when to say when and identify your designated driver beforehand. Getting too drunk is the fastest way to put the kibosh on date No. 2.

A Fun Fact

The minimum salary for a WNBA rookie basketball player is $34,500. The maximum salary that a WNBA player can get is $95,000

3: Sporting Events

They're not just for the boys anymore. More and more women are getting into the much-anticipated gridiron season every fall, or watching the players run up and down the basketball courts. So why wouldn't this make an ideal first date for sports enthusiasts, or for people who like outdoor events and are willing to step outside their comfort zone? Just be sure your date likes and understands the game, or is open to the idea of learning from you.
And sporting events are actually good for avoiding that awkward first-date silence because you can always watch the game if you run out of things to talk about. But they can also provide an added element of fun: You and your date can make a friendly wager on the game and the loser can pick up the tab for chocolate chip scones or a round of beer afterward.
Looking for more than just men's basketball and football? Think outside of the box. Get tickets to a WNBA or NHL game if there's a team in your city. Or check out a city league game like flag football, soccer, softball or volleyball for a more local appeal. And if the date doesn't go well, at least you can still have a good time watching a sporting event. No harm, no foul.

Movies, concerts and live theater are always ideal options for any first date.

2: Movies, Comedy Shows and Plays

A movie or live show is a great choice for really any date. The key is to be respectful and choose a movie, play or concert that you both will enjoy. You don't want to spring for tickets to a Lady Gaga concert or "The Last Exorcism" without talking to your date. Make sure they're up for it first.
Great options include taking in a concert in a big arena (once again make sure s/he is a fan of Jay-Z or Neil Diamond); checking out the local live bands at an outdoor park festival; going to spoken word night at a local poetry club; or supporting the local arts by seeing a play at a smaller venue ("Fiddler on the Roof" in a limited run can be exciting). There will be times during the date where you won't have much conversation, but that's OK because you can make up for it by discussing the show later. And, if it ends early enough and things are going well, there's still time for an after-party coffee, drink or dessert.

Enjoying dinner and drinks together is the mother of all first dates -- because the formula works.

1: Dinner and Drinks

This is the mother of all first date ideas. Going out for dinner or drinks is not an original concept, but it's a great way to spend your first date together. This outing has stood the test of time. Why? Because the formula works. A yummy meal plus interesting conversation often leads to the second date. Yes it's predictable, and yes, the first date dinner scene is played out in every movie known to man. But it's a jumpstart to the process of getting to know someone. It doesn't matter whether you're on a blind date or breaking bread with someone whom you've had your eye on for a long time.
Dinner or drink dates allow you to ask questions and spend time talking, sharing stories and hopefully laughing. It also lets you pull back the curtain a little on whether you might click or not. You can keep it light and casual by going to a place where you can pair mozzarella sticks and wings with Diet Cokes. Or you can get dolled up and finally justify spending the $350 on that new French bistro that just opened downtown. If the date is going well, dancing at a karaoke bar, a hip nightclub or even in the restaurant is a festive way to cap off the evening. If it looks like it's heading south, you can politely say you don't want any dessert and say goodnight right after the check.

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10 First Date Tips

In the Pursuit of Happiness Pictures

In the Pursuit of Happiness Pictures First dates make many people nervous, but the best thing you can do is just smile, relax and be yourself.

If you're single and dating, you may be surprised to learn that the dating pool is actually quite deep, even if it doesn't always feel that way. There are more than 100 million unmarried American adults -- which is more than 45 percent of all adults in the U.S. -- but not all of them are unattached [source: U.S. Census Bureau]. Roughly 5 percent cohabitate with a partner, effectively kicking them out of the pool. But what we can take away from this is that there are many single Americans, and a good percentage of them are swimming around looking for a date.
While the dating scene may seem like a lot of work to one person, to another, it's a fun way to meet other people. But all things being equal, first dates can make most of us anxious. It's Just Lunch, a dating service for single professionals, surveyed single American adults and found that nearly 70 percent of men and about 50 percent of women won't bother with a second date if the chemistry isn't there. When there is chemistry, though, 97 percent of men will call to ask out their love interest again -- in 72 hours or less [source: Search Your Love].
Trying to ensure a second date? Or develop a long-term relationship? First, let's get you through the nerve-wracking first date. We've compiled 10 first date tips for both men and women, so let's get started with choosing a first date activity.

Watching a movie together isn't the best way to get to know your date. Instead, choose an activity that allows conversation.

10: First Date Activities

While going to a concert or movie -- or even skydiving -- can be a lot of fun, these types of activities tend not to make the best first dates. Why? The first few times you hang out with someone, especially on your first date, should be about getting to know that new person. Planning a date around an activity that doesn't allow for conversation won't help you learn anything, except that your date likes butter on her popcorn or is really into the local music scene. Pair these types of activities with dinner or coffee after the show, though, and you have a good second date combination.

What's on the Menu?

Sure, you'd like to hear the specials. But if they're a list of gassy, garlicky, greasy or messy foods, avoid ordering them. Stick with menu items that are small and light (no one wants to be bloated on a first date) -- and don't forget to check for post-salad greenery in your teeth.

9: Plan Ahead

You asked her to dinner, she accepted and now you can relax, right? Not yet -- now the work begins. Dating takes preparation, so you'll need to consider the following before you even head out the door:

• Does she have dietary concerns or restrictions you should consider when choosing a restaurant?
• Are you meeting there, or picking her up?
• Do you have directions to the restaurant?
• Should you bring cash for parking?

Also, consider that you're new to her, so plan a first date that's intimate, but not too intimate -- a cozy corner table in a restaurant is a better choice than making dinner for her in your home. Save showing off your culinary skills for after the first date, when she knows you're safe and feels comfortable being alone with you.

Can't decide what to wear? Choose something comfortable that's suitable for the activity you have planned.

8: Be Confident and Comfortably Dressed

Deciding what to wear on a first date can be almost as nerve-wracking as choosing what to talk about over dinner. You want to look good and smell nice, but what outfit fits the bill without being too sexy, too dressy or too casual?
The truth here, though, is that your confidence will take you further than the shoes you choose. But even if you're confident in your T-shirt and jeans, you shouldn't count on them to make a good first impression. Take a cue from where your date will be: Whether you're dining at an upscale restaurant or a corner cafe, you'll want to dress appropriately for the venue.

 

The Bailout Call

When is the one time you might want to consider answering your phone on a date? If things are going poorly -- or maybe you're just not compatible -- consider a bailout call. Plan to have a friend call you during the date, and if you need a rescue, answer the call.

7: Put Away Your Phone

Checking your mobile phone during a date is one of the quickest ways to make someone feel uncomfortable. Whether you're taking a call or a text, using your phone sends the signal that you're not interested in your date. Even if you want to text your best friend about how great the date is, don't do it. Instead, concentrate on making your date feel special. Even if there are no sparks, be courteous, pay attention to the conversation and offer a goodnight handshake.

6: Have Some Conversation Starters

Are you terrified that you and your match will sit in awkward silence over appetizers? Keep up with current events and keep a few prepared questions in mind, ready to go if you find a lag in conversation. The thing about questions, though, is that some are better than others. While it's a decent, common icebreaker, "How are you?" isn't a very good way to get conversation rolling. Aim for open-ended questions, the type that requires more than a yes or no answer, and you'll find yourselves talking about everything from work to movies to wherever the conversational wind blows.
Remember: First dates are not the time to talk about exes. Politics and religion? Maybe, but don't take it too far.

Close the Deal

So the first date went great -- there was fun, flirtation and you'd absolutely like to see each other again. Don't keep that a secret. Offer a hug or a kiss, and let your date know that you had a great time and you'd like to do it again. Soon.

5: Be a Good Listener

Just as important as asking great, open-ended questions is how you listen to your date when he or she is talking. Listening skills are more than just waiting for your turn to talk. Keep the conversational back-and-forth flowing by showing interest in your date's answers. Pay attention to what your date is saying, but also pay attention to your own body language. Good listeners have open posture as well as open ears -- lean in as your date is speaking, nod in understanding and try briefly paraphrasing your date's answer as encouragement to keep her or him talking.

4: Be Honest

There are nearly 13 million single-parent families in the U.S. -- that's about 10.4 million single moms and 2.5 million single dads [source: U.S. Census Bureau]. While a first date is often not the place to chat about your children, if you're a single parent in the dating scene, it's unfair to your date not to mention the kids early on. No one likes to learn that the person they thought they were getting to know and like is actually very different from the picture that's been painted.
Being honest is one of the most important things you can do to help a first date go well. Be honest about who you are, what you do, what you like, all of it. Turn your idiosyncrasies into something to highlight about yourself, rather than trying to be what you think your date will like. In the end, you want him or her to like who you really are, not who you pretend to be. And that includes everything from the type of music you like to whether or not you have kids.

Women: Make an Offer

Eighty-four percent of men surveyed by author Rachel Greenwald reported that while they expect to pay when out on a date, they appreciate a woman's offer to pay for dinner on a first date [source: Greenwald].

3: Watch Your Body Language

Maybe you've perfected your witty banter, picked out a killer outfit and made reservations at the hot new place in town, but if you're not careful, your body language may give your date the wrong idea.
Be conscious of the signals you're giving off. The first time we meet another person, they judge us (and we, them) on appearance and body language most of all -- 55 percent -- followed by 38 percent on our style of speaking and 7 percent on what we actually say [source: Social Issues Research Centre].
When you greet your date, smile. Not only will it show the other person you're happy to see him or her (regardless of whether or not this is a blind date), it also shows open and friendly qualities -- perfect for a first date. Other things to watch out for: Uncross your arms (crossing them can make you seem uninterested and unapproachable) and don't forget to sit up straight.

2: Be Flirtatious

Flirting with your date not only shows your playful side but also allows you to share details about yourself in a humorous yet intimate way. Making eye contact, smiling and lightly touching your date's arm are great nonverbal cues to show attraction. Also, when we're attracted to (or comfortable with) another person, we often unconsciously mirror the gestures and body language of that person. This matching is called mirror-image postural echoes, and when we mimic another person this way, we're signaling that we like that person. Intentionally mirroring your date's posture or synchronizing gestures can help break tension and make the other person feel more relaxed around you -- be sure to do this subtly, though, or risk having your flirty behavior seem downright awkward.

Have Tea, Not Coffee

Are you trying to maintain a relaxed attitude during your date? Go out for tea instead of coffee. While caffeine may make you more anxious -- it raises the stress hormone cortisol -- tea has the opposite effect. Tea drinkers are calmer and have lower levels of cortisol. Green, black, chamomile ... drink up.

1: Relax

If you're nervous about making a good first impression and worried about whether the two of you will hit it off, then above all else, you need to relax. Remember, this is just one date, and it's just date one. Before going out, spend a few minutes (that's all it takes) breathing to help relieve any pre-date jitters. Breathe deeply and slowly, and concentrate only on your breath.
Your first few dates are all about getting to know another person. Sometimes there are sparks, sometimes there aren't, and often, you'll at least find yourself with a new friend from the experience. You can't force a long-term relationship -- it'll either happen or it won't -- so stay in the moment during your date, remember to breathe and have fun getting to know the other person.

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10 Free Date Activities in the Great Outdoors

Head outside for tons of romantic date ideas that won't cost a penny.

Say you want to spend a little time with your girlfriend or someone you'd like to get to know a little bit better. It's a beautiful day outside, so it'd be great to hit the outdoors, right?
You're exactly right. Outdoor dates are a lot of fun because you can be active together and focus on having a good time. They're also great because they don't have to cost a lot of money. In fact, some of the best times you can have outside are free. If you're wallet's feeling a little thin, thinking up some free outdoor fun can keep the sparks in your relationship--and it helps you save some cash for when you want a fancier night out.
Don't believe it? Read on for some fun, free outdoor date ideas.

Hiking is a great way to get to know your date.

10: Hiking

Hit the trail. Going for a walk in the woods can be a totally relaxing activity. It's just the two of you and Mother Nature, so it's the perfect opportunity to be candid with each other. Since you probably won't come across many other people, you can open up and be yourself and not have to worry about impressing anyone. She'll find it romantic and will appreciate the real you.
Hiking also doesn't have to be that involved. Take a couple of water bottles and go to your local forest preserve. Find a state park that has an extensive number of trails. Be sure to pick a trail that's at a level of difficultly you both can manage, and follow the map. While being in the woods is fun and romantic, being lost in the woods is not.

Do you both like sports? Grab your pair of rollerskates and go for a spin.

9: Outdoor Sports

If your girl's the athletic type, try a little one-on-one action on the court. Grab a basketball or some tennis rackets, and work up a sweat playing against each other.
Not into competitive sports? Try running, rollerblading, or skateboarding. If your town or city has a running path, it gives you the opportunity to see some scenery too, which makes the date a little more exciting. If you've got access to a skate park, you could teach each other some skateboarding tricks and work out new moves together.
Exercise may not sound like the most romantic date in the world, but it possibly is one of the best ways to build a stronger relationship. Working out is a natural mood booster because it pumps up your endorphins and makes you feel happier. When you exercise with someone, you associate that exercise high with that person, making your emotional bond stronger.

For a date, bringing along man's best friend is a no brainer.

8: Walking the Dog

Let's face it: Chicks dig dogs. They love petting them, they love playing with them and they love doting on them. Showing that you're a responsible dog owner sends a woman the signal that you know how to take care of people. A woman. Her. Puppies are even better. An adorable, fluffy ball of fur is attached to an adorable owner (you). Show her how much you love your dog, and you're showing her the real you.
Put a leash on your pooch, and ask your girl to go on a nice, long walk. Because you'll have to pay some attention to your dog, that will give you something to talk about and make conversation easier between the two of you. Another benefit of walking your dog is that both of you get exercise too. Remember date idea #9? Endorphins!
To make it a little more special, take your dog to a dog park, where it can run around off-leash and play on obstacles. While the two of you play fetch with your dog, you can spend time talking with each other, which increases your intimacy levels.

If you live near the beach, a cool walk near the water is just as romantic during the winter.

7: Winter Activities

Just because it's cold outside doesn't mean you can't have a great outdoor date. Winter weather brings on a whole different set of fun activities that you can't do during the three other seasons of the year. This fact alone makes an outdoor winter date a little more unique and memorable, and this will mask the fact that you're not paying anything to have fun together. Besides, if she gets cold, she'll need a hug to warm up.
Right after you get a heavy snowfall, suggest building a snowman. Try to make one as big as possible--and if it escalates into a little snowball fight, that's fun too.
If there's enough snow on the ground, hit the hills for sledding or tubing. Sharing the same sled will give you an excuse to be close.
Snowshoeing is another great outdoor activity. It's a lot like hiking, which means you'll be able to enjoy the beauty of the woods without worrying about trudging through a lot of snow.
Need another winter idea? Go ice-skating. Even if neither of you is a strong skater, ice-skating is still a fun date activity because you can develop a bond by supporting each other as you try not to fall on the ice.

Visiting the park is a classic date activity.

6: Hanging Out at the Park

Think hanging out at the park doesn't sound like a real date? Nonsense! Parks have infinite possibilities when it comes for things to do.
Walking around a park is a simple activity, but for a date you might want to be a little more creative. Act like kids and hit the playground. Swings are great for dates early in a relationship because you can be next to each other, but the swing gives you a little breathing space. Sit and talk, or have a swinging contest.
Because a lot of parks have open space, they're great for lawn games. Throw a Frisbee back and forth or play bocce ball. Set up the world's largest croquet course. You'll get that little competitive spirit and energy flowing.
Kite flying is another ideal park activity. Getting a kite to fly really high can be a challenge, and it's fun when you can conquer that challenge together.
Looking to be a little more romantic? Raid your fridge and pack a picnic. Food tastes better when you're eating outside, and a picnic creates a truly intimate atmosphere.

 

If one of you has a GPS, geocaching can give you some high tech fun.

5: Geocaching

Maybe you think that a walk or hike is a little too boring because you're just wandering aimlessly. Geocaching can give your walk a sense of purpose. This high-tech scavenger hunt is perfect for couples that have a GPS device. In geocaching, you're looking for a hidden cache that's located somewhere outdoors. Look online for a list of geocaches. Once you pick one, you'll find out its latitude and longitude coordinates. Enter those into your GPS, and then your GPS will guide you to where the geocache is located. Once you get to the right location, you'll look for some sort of container that's full of mystery. Sign the logbook and let everyone know the two of you were there.
You'll never know what you'll find in a geocache, which makes it an exciting activity. If a geocache is full of random objects, you can swap out something you own for something in the cache, and you'll have a little memento of your date. Geocaching is great for both urban and rural settings, because the geocache containers can be hidden just about anywhere. It's also one of those activities that's more fun to do with someone. You're both looking for this treasure together, and frankly, chicks get into that kind of thing.

 

Check your local arts publications for free music events.

4: Attend a Free Outdoor Concert

Music is a great date idea because it helps draw people together. A single song can help define a moment, or even an entire summer. Incorporating a concert into a date is a way to help set the date apart and make it special. Free concerts are also a way to learn about new music. Maybe you wouldn't pay for a classical concert, but when it's free, it's a pretty good way to spend a couple of hours. You might even discover that you really do like a band or music style you never really paid attention to before. And you never know--the concert you go to could provide the two of you with "your song."
A lot of cities and towns offer ways to listen to free concerts in the summer. Local festivals usually have bands to keep the action lively. Spend some time wandering around the festival, then hit the stage area to listen to the band. Be open to the possibility of dancing with your date. Women go gaga for a guy who will dance, so take this opportunity to score some points with her.
Sometimes concerts are held in a venue that allows you to picnic on a lawn. As we mentioned before, picnics are a fun way to relax and enjoy time together. Adding in music provides some special atmosphere.

Keep a fun destination in mind, like the park or a nearby lake.

3: Go for a Bike Ride

Grab your wheels, and hit the road! Just as dating is a journey, biking makes for a fun date because you can accomplish a journey. Plan a 10-, 20-, or 30-mile trip with your date and explore your little corner of the world. You can have a certain destination in mind--perhaps a famed ice cream shack--or you can see how long it takes you to go the distance.
Although biking can be a little nerve racking if you're maneuvering through traffic, you can alleviate that tension by using a bike path. All over the country, old railroad tracks have been converted to bike and running trails. These provide a safe place to ride--and you can even ride two abreast to talk while you pedal.
Want a more challenging bike experience? Try riding a tandem bike together, and you'll become a better team in no time. Mountain biking along rougher trails is also a great way for more adventurous types to explore the out of doors.

Sitting peacefully by the water will make the conversation flow.

2: Hang Out by the Water

For a lot of people, summertime means fun by the water. Whether you're hanging out at the beach or participating in water sports, water provides an excellent environment for a free date.
At the beach, you can play Frisbee, catch or paddle sports with each other. Team up and become an unstoppable force in beach volleyball. It's clichéd, but most girls will admit that a long walk along the beach is about as romantic as it gets. When you get hot, the two of you can cool off in the waves. Bring your towel, sunscreen, snacks and some beverages, and you're set for a fun afternoon.
Even if you don't live by a beach, you can still have fun on the water. Go swimming in a lake. If you own a canoe or kayak, take your date for a paddle on the river. The only way you'll move forward on the river is if you're working together, so it's the perfect way to get in sync with a person.

The glow of bright city lights can provide a romantic background for your date.

1: Nighttime Fun

Outdoor dates don't always have to take place during the day. Nighttime provides plenty of free date opportunities. Start by taking a blanket to a park, field or overlook and watch the sunset together. Once the sun slips over the horizon, lie down on your blanket and watch the stars come out. You can help each other spot different constellations and planets, and wish on shooting stars. Special astronomical events like meteor showers can create a special feel to the date and make it memorable.
Nighttime walks can also be extremely romantic because the darkness acts like a security blanket, allowing you to share a lot with each other. Just take a flashlight with you, and don't go anyplace where you might get easily lost.

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