Win the Hottest Woman in the Room

Make your move, dude!

In the world of cowbirds—small, parasitic birds that lay their eggs in other birds’ nests—shy guys come out on top. Their less-intense displays of show garner more attention than elaborate wing-spreading, according to a new study published in PLos ONE.

Lady birds aren’t the only ones who’ll go for a quiet guy—it works in the dating jungle, too. “Attractive women get hit on all the time,” says Tracey Steinberg, dating and flirting expert. “They’re sick of the player who is going to hit on them and every other woman in the bar.”
Instead of thinking you’re doomed because the sight of high heels makes you shake in your boots, capitalize on your shy-guy status to get the hottest girl in the room.

Use Non-Verbal Cues
Who says you can’t meet at a bar? “Being in a noisy environment might be surprisingly better for a shy guy,” says Richard La Ruina, dating coach and author of The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want. How come? You don’t even have to talk. Catch her eye, smile, and raise your drink slightly as if to “say hello” from across the room. (No screaming, “Cheers!” allowed.) Distance can give you more confidence, La Ruina adds.

Buddy Up
Throw a party with two of your outgoing friends, says Steinberg. Since you’re the host, you’ll have to introduce yourself to everyone—the most nerve-wracking part. To make sure your ratio is even, tell your buddies to bring along a girl—they don’t want to go to a party that’s a sausagefest either, right?

Ditch the Clever Pick-Up Line
“The less clever the opening line the better,” says Steinberg. Why? She’s likely heard it all—and she’ll notice eye contact and a smile more. Open with a question about anything you can see, hear, taste, touch, or smell in the environment, says Steinberg. It’ll provide instant conversation. Tip: Use her name when giving a compliment, or to get her attention if the conversation dies down, says Steinberg. It’ll let her know you’re focused on just her.

Let Her Talk
You’re probably a good listener—most shy guys are, says La Ruina. So keep the conversation focused on her interests. Ask follow-up questions: If she’s a runner, find out how she got started, or if she runs races. The advantage: When you ask to see her again, she’ll know you’re interested in more than her bod.